Ramblings on December 26, 2015

Seeing as this is quite possibly going to be my last post for the year, I'll do my best to make it a good one.

I haven't been nearly as faithful with this whole blog thing as I had hoped to be when I first started. I mean, it went all well and good for like a week, but then it went spiraling downhill.

It's kind of like that with most things I try to do, which is kind of discouraging. A couple months ago, I got a brilliant idea. I want to be healthier, so why not go on a vegan diet? I mean, what's there to lose?

It lasted for two days.

Okay, well, why don't I do my best to get straight A's in school so I can raise my GPA some?

I barely passed my classes for first semester.

What's there to take from all of this?

Well, for me, I need to figure out what motivates me. At this point, I feel like there's no point in doing anything if I'm just going to fail at it anyway. But the thing is, how do I know I'm going to fail if I haven't even tried? I'm not motivated to try because I'm sure I'll fail if I try, and if I try, I'm not motivated to go through with it because I keep thinking of what could go wrong.

It's a vicious cycle, really.

What about you? Feel free to comment or something, I'd love to hear from anyone!

You're all awesome.

Ramblings on October 1, 2015

Wow. It's been a while. Hey. How's life?

I'm going to be honest here, school is hell. A complete living hell. There's no reward in it for me anymore. There's just going to be another assignment, there's just going to be another test. I can't wait until I'm able to start working full time.

Along with that, I've gotten really, really depressed. Like the other day I laid face down in the middle of my floor for 2 hours because I didn't have the energy to do anything. I kind of feel like doing that again right now, but instead I'm writing this. Might as well do something to let my feelings out. Not like I feel like I can share how I feel with anyone without being an added stress that I don't want them to have to deal with.

I know everyone says, "Oh, you're not a burden. Just talk to us!" You see, it's not that easy when you believe you're just a worthless piece of shit and think that everyone else feels that way about you, too, and doesn't want to have to deal with your sorry ass. Yes, that's truly how it feels. It's okay if you don't understand. Not many people do.

ANYWAYS, on a bit of a lighter note, I've applied to a bunch of colleges, but on a bit of a less light note, none of them have gotten back to me yet. I'm pretty sure my grades and stuff are too shit to be accepted anywhere. Apparently a 2.98 GPA isn't good enough for anything. But hey, I hear it's easy-ish to get hired into retail without a college degree. Maybe I'll just do that.

Anyway, this was kind of a sad and depressing thingy.

You're all awesome.

Ramblings on August 9, 2015.

Oh hai.

Yeah, I've been internetless for the last few days. My deepest apologies.

Speaking of the internet, we, as humans, are rapidly becoming more focused on electronic interaction than face-to-face interaction. Unlike other people, however, I don't think this is a bad thing. I just think it's something everyone needs to be open-minded about, because, really, it's just a faster version of the postal service. All you people who are older than about 30 (rough number, DON'T YELL AT ME, yes, younger people can understand this too) should be able to see the difference. If you're willing to write letters and talk on the phone but are against social media, you're kind of missing out. But hey, to each their own.

Does anyone out there either agree, agree but with a side note, or disagree with this? I'd seriously love to hear from anyone. Don't be afraid to comment.

You're all awesome.

Ramblings on August 5, 2015

I'm going to be beginning a research project for personal reasons. As I get farther along, I'll keep you guys updated, but I might not post every day on here anymore. I know I've only been at it for like 6 days now, but this project is going to be really important to my mental, physical, and spiritual health. I'd appreciate it if you stuck with me, and I'll try to post as regularly as I possibly can. I can't guarantee anything.

You're all freaking awesome.

Ramblings on August 4, 2015.

There are so many thoughts whirling through my head, and I can't make sense of them all. My brain goes to fast to keep up with itself.

{THIS CENTER BIT HAS BEEN DELETED DUE TO THE SHEER EMBARRASSMENT OF THE CONTENT. I WON'T BE DOING THAT AGAIN}

I know not many people read this, but if you're one of the few who do, I'm interested to know if you've ever felt an emotion so strong it hurts because someone else had something happen to them?

Don't be afraid to comment. Please. I'd love to hear from anyone,

You're all awesome.

Ramblings on August 3, 2015 (This is a bit of a rant. If you're offended by rants, go away)

I was on Whisper earlier today, which, in case you don't know, is an app that lets you post things anonymously for anyone to see. I saw a post that read something along the lines of, "I just got my girlfriend pregnant. I'm leaving her if she doesn't get an abortion. I'm only 20. I don't want to be a dad." To which I responded, "Leave her. She and the baby don't need a piece of shit like you in their lives." 

To all you horny couples out there: You're not immune to pregnancy. Having intercourse is like signing a contract that says, "If this girl gets pregnant, we are the parents and will be there to support this child." 

If you don't want the responsibility of being a parent, gentlemen, KEEP YOUR PENIS IN YOUR PANTS. Ladies, KEEP YOUR LEGS SHUT. 

Also, ALWAYS respect someone if they say they don't want to be intimate with you. 

Gentlemen, I don't care if you're horny. Go masturbate in the shower or something. If a lady says no, she means no, not try to talk her into it and NEVER forcing her into it. That's rape.

Ladies, I don't care if you're horny. Go masturbate in the shower or something. If a gentleman says no, he means no, not to try to talk him into it and NEVER forcing him into it. That's rape.

Now that we have that out of the way, if you do end up pregnant through either your own choices or through some unfortunate event (rape. I'm talking about rape.) and you're not going to be able to support the baby, you have a couple of options. Option number one is abortion, which I personally am against but will not be shoving that belief in your face. Number two is to put your child up for adoption. NOTE: Adoption doesn't necessarily mean you'll never see your baby again. Open adoptions are a thing. Number three is to take on an extra job, maybe resort to your family members for extra support, and do the best you can to raise the baby on your own. 

All three options should be discussed and one AGREED upon by BOTH parents. Do NOT EVER FORCE A WOMAN TO HAVE AN ABORTION. EVER. If you both agree on it, that's a different story. LADIES, DO NOT JUST GO HAVE AN ABORTION WITHOUT TALKING TO THE BABY'S FATHER FIRST. 

I'm beginning to get so frustrated I can't think clearly.

I'm going to leave it there. Feel free to comment on any of these, I'll read anything you have to say. You're all awesome. 

Ramblings on August 2, 2015

This is going to be short.

Is anyone else completely horrified by the sounds of coyotes and wolves?

Because I, personally, am.

I can sleep through nearly anything. Coyotes and wolves are the exceptions.

It's 11:56. I have to get up at 5 to get ready for work.

You're all awesome.

Ramblings on August 1, 2015 (slightly religious, if you're offended by that, go away)

I was raised in a Christian home. More specifically, my family is Seventh-Day Adventist, which, in case you're wondering, are people who believe the true day God intended us to worship is Saturday and go to church on Saturdays instead of Sundays. 

Now, all branches of Christianity tend to profess that they love everyone and will accept them no matter what. What I'm about to talk about does NOT apply to individual people, but the groups as a whole. 

Yes, the Bible does have that story about Sodom and Gomorrah, where the two towns were destroyed because the people who lived within were homosexual. However, homosexuality was NOT the only thing that was going on in those cities. 

With people being made more aware of homosexuality, asexuality, and transgender, out come all the people who say it's wrong and anyone who's homosexual, asexual, or transgender are hated by God.

Bullshit, good sir, bullshit.

If you're a Christian, and you've gone to at least SOME church or Bible related event, you know that God loves everyone, no matter what, and that He wants us to do the same. Yes, that means you should probably stop going around gay pride events holding signs that say "God hates fags," because that's NOT true. 

Christians, well, EVERYONE for that matter, the world would be such a better place if we all just accepted that people have their own ways of life that may not fit in with what we think is 'right' and just minded our own damn business. In Matthew 5:44 we are told to love our enemies. Enemies, in this case, can be translated to 'any person whose way of life we disagree with in any way'. Matthew 7:1-5 says "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me remove the speck from your eye"; and look, a plank is in your eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." 

Work on bettering yourself before trying to better others. Be there to support someone if they ask for it, but if they don't, once again, mind your own damn business. By constantly nitpicking at someone else's life, you make them feel like they can't do anything right. Most of the time, people just want to feel a sense of accomplishment. Don't look down on someone who's in a rough place in their lives. You may end up being in just as rough of a place, and if you looked down at someone and scoffed, that's all you can expect to get from them. Be willing to support those who are less fortunate than you are. 

The church, as a whole, has a bad habit of pushing away people who are not already living their lives well and in a good place religiously. 

Isn't the point of going to church to learn how to live your life to the fullest and in harmony with what God wants for you? 

Why, then, push away someone who wants to learn and instead accept someone who has already accomplished this?

This closed-minded attitude is most definitely one of the reasons people are turning away from the church. 

They hear church members claiming that their church is very accepting and loving, but when they go to learn, all they see is hypocrisy. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be in that environment, either.

I could go on and on with this post but I'd like for people to actually be able to finish it, so I'm going to end it here. You're all awesome. 

Ramblings on July 31, 2015

Hello. My name's Katie. 

If I had the self-discipline to write a book, I would. However, that's not the case, so I've decided to start this thingy. I do love to write, but generally the things I write are things that most people I know don't particularly care about. 

I'm sure, if you happen to decide to stick with me as I'm working on this thingy, you'll come to know quite a bit about me. I'm really bad at introducing myself otherwise. 

Being that I want this first day of ramblings to consist of more than just a brief introduction to myself, here's some stuff to think about.

I live in a very small town. By very small, I mean about 2,000 people. I wasn't kidding. I've always been an introvert, which, in a small town, sets one apart as someone who's 'different'. By 'different', I don't just mean having interests that are similar to others'. No, by 'different', I mean mentally challenged, which, in a small town where everyone knows everyone, isn't exactly the best reputation to have.

Now, I do struggle with a couple mental illnesses, but nothing that impairs my ability to interact with people in any severe way. I deal with ODD, ADHD, depression, and anxiety. 

Before anyone goes batshit crazy, I do NOT use those things as reasons to be an asshole or to get things I want. They're simply pieces of my mind that sometimes make it difficult for me to focus on the bigger picture of life. I do NOT consider myself a special snowflake. I don't seek sympathy, I don't seek compliments. I'm fairly low maintenance.

Anyway, back to the point. Because I managed to build the reputation of being 'different', no one ever really bothered to try to get to know me. I'm glad for that. "Katie, why would you be glad you don't have any close friends near where you live?" Being an outsider, I've been able to observe pretty much everyone. There's only a small handful that I could see myself being close friends with. Being a wallflower has its perks.

I then proceeded to try to spend a little more time with those people, and, what do you know, we became friends. 

I'm super glad those people were willing to be open minded and give me a chance. In reality, I don't hate people, I'm just introverted and pretty shy. 

The moral of the story is this: be open minded. It's worth it and will get you a lot farther in life than being a narrow minded, my-way-or-the-high-way type of person will. 

If you've read this all the way to the end, you're awesome! Well, probably. I don't personally know you but I'm willing to assume so. If you didn't read all the way to the end, I'm going to assume you're awesome too. (Ah, see that open mindedness?)